The Struggle of Social Sobriety
I want to write about how I’ve not stayed sober in social situations the last three Fridays in a row. I understand that this is a journey full of ups and downs, but I am shocked at how difficult I’ve found “social sobriety” and how easily I’ve felt myself slipping into the old habits of Party Paige.
In my post The Boozy Truth I wrote that I knew that sobriety was for was for me and I meant it. At the time, I truly believed that having known the utter joy of sobriety and the subsequent hell of a hangover would be enough to say no thanks to the booze the following weekend. Low and behold, the following Friday came around and I was almost surprised to see myself pouring wine into my glass during the meal. On the surface, it felt right but something was stirring inside of me that knew what I was doing was not in alignment with my values. I felt the tension that Annie Grace writes about in This Naked Mind.
Living in my little bubble during lockdown, it was easy to kid myself that I’d mastered the art of sobriety. Three months had shown me that the grass is greener on the other side so, why would I go back? It’s a question I’m still grappling with.
I saw a post on Instagram the other day that said: One year from today you will either be living your dreams or the same old story. Those words shook me to my core. There is no doubt in my mind that the life of my dreams lies in sobriety and it scared me that in drinking again I was slipping back into the living the same old story.
I have lots of lovely social events planned for the coming weeks and I am very grateful for those. I am a little apprehensive as they are what I’d consider “drinking events” (party, visiting my favourite city, meals out etc) but I’m not going to give up. I’m going to keep working on sustained social sobriety; I’m going to keep fighting for my dreams.
This blog helps keep me accountable so I will keep sharing and be honest about my progress.
To everyone who has shared my journey so far and offered your support, thank you. Your kind words and own stories give me hope that I will succeed and serve as a reminder that, while this path isn’t easy, it’s worth it.