The gentle shifts of sobriety
This morning I woke up with a smile on my face; it marked the start of another hangover-free Saturday. After stretching the sleepiness off and sipping on a coffee, I thought about how only a few weeks ago I’d fallen back into old patterns of drinking, partying and still being awake well after sunrise. I thought about the feelings of failure I felt, the soul-crushing anxiety and sense of loss that I’d seemingly moved backwards rather than forwards.
I’m glad to say that sobriety has allowed for a gentle shift away from those negative, restrictive emotions. I didn’t choose sobriety then hey-presto, the anxiety evaporated (if only) but rather I slowly bobbed from one side of the emotional lake to the other. I had to go through the sadness and self-doubt to move forward. Now that I’m in a place of positivity, it feels like an old friend. I feel much more like the Paige I was in spring, who was enjoying a three-month sabbatical from alcohol, and it’s inspiring.
That’s just one of the beauties of sobriety: it helps lift the fog and allows you to see the world in all it’s bright and beautiful glory. It helps you to stop fumbling in the dark, hoping your heading in the right direction, by clearly lighting the path for you.
It is an honour to feel this way again; I know how lucky I am to have found my way back here. It’s a delight to have reclaimed the morning and weekends. It’s a joy to keep exploring who I am in sobriety and exciting to plan where I’m headed.
Have a lovely Saturday everyone.