Cycling the Blues Away
I was recently lucky enough to come into possession of a bike, (reading that back, it sounds a little shady. I bought the bike – promise!) and I’ve felt a little like a kid at Christmas ever since. Strapping on my bright blue helmet and zooming away, I feel free and happy.
Back when I was still a full-time party girl, dragging my sorry self in at 6 am, I would never have cycled. It’s shallow, but I would have felt silly. I wouldn’t have liked the way my hair looked under a helmet; I would have been super paranoid that everyone was looking at me (conceited, I know). Basically, I wouldn’t have had the confidence. I’d have been scared of falling off, scared of crashing, scared of what people thought. Ultimately, I was scared to live without the buzz of intoxication.
Now that I’ve retired from the world of boozy blackouts, that fear is slowly disappearing. It’s been replaced by wonderful confidence and a yearning to push myself to try new things. I want to be a part of the world, not just stood on the sidelines with a glass of vino. I want to feel real things, make beautiful memories, and be present in person and mind.
At 77 days sober, I feel stronger and happier than ever (see Seven Things I’ve Learnt Seventy Days Sober for more on this). I love zooming around the park, the wind whipping my face, getting home and popping the kettle on. I love checking out my stats on the Strava app and comparing them with my brothers back home (even in our twenties, living apart, we’re as competitive as ever).
So, I and my little bike are starting a new chapter. Together, we’re cycling the blues away, moving on from the harrowing hangovers and crushing comedowns. *Queue an old western sunset background and me and bikey heading off into the future. The darkness behind us, the rest of our lives ahead of us.*