I’ve been struggling with my mind a little lately. Constant waves of anxiety and broken sleep as a result of nightmares has left me feel tired and a tad broken. I’ve found it difficult to focus on a task and have had the urge to hide away from the world, safe in warmth of my bed.
The truth is, giving up drinking isn’t a one stop cure all that magically makes everything better. Yes, it 1000% improves things, but we still need to make sure we make time for ourselves and tend to our mental wellbeing.
With that in mind, yesterday I decided I needed to take back control. I couldn’t keep pretending I was all right, only to crumble when my phone buzzed or I was out in the world.
So, for the first time in a while, I jumped on the yoga mat and did a session specifically for anxiety. I got myself ready and went into the city to buy Sarah Wilson’s First We Make the Beast Beautiful, which I’ve heard wonderful things about. I tried to remind myself to stay hydrated (although I remain terrible at this) and I practised breathing exercises. I even snuggled up in bed nice and early.
I’ve still got a little way to go, but I feel more confident that I can get back on track now. I know I need to keep giving myself space and time to breath. I can’t control the current uncertainty, but I can control my response to it. I can keep looking for the beauty amid the chaos.
Today, I’m going to enjoy my last day off before work tomorrow. I’m going to do some more yoga, read Harry Potter (my favourite comfort), take Huckleberry on a long walk and eat scrumptious food. This Sunday is a day of rest, recuperation and self love. Oh, and lot’s of cups of tea ☕💜
These are hard times, but we are not alone and we must keep moving forward.