2020: My Year of Sober Curiosity
Wow, what a year 2020 has been. It would be easy to sit here and slag it off no end. I could babble on about all the collective hardship and woes and what a confined-to-the-home drag it has been. But that wouldn’t be being true to how I feel. 2020, for all its shortcomings and pitfalls, has been the most positively transformative year of my life. 2020 was my year of sober curiosity and man, what a beautiful journey it has been.
As many of you know, 2019 had broken me. The years of senseless hedonism and chasing highs from late night to early mornings had finally caught up with me. I stumbled into 2020 anxious, shaky, and afraid; afraid of who I was becoming under the influence and afraid of what lay ahead if I didn’t learn how to let go of the precious party lifestyle that was quite clearly killing me.
Then, after reading Catherine Gray’s The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober and my first ever successful Dry January, I started this blog on my 26th birthday. My hope was that it would be a place that would allow me to explore sobriety further, connect with others, keep me accountable and make sense of my muddled-up mind. 10 months later, I am blown away by how far I have come and the things I have achieved. I’ve discovered a whole new way of life and a version myself that I’m not absolutely desperate to destroy in the New Year. Rather, I want to love and nurture this new me and give her space to continue to grow. I have found beauty in the peace of early mornings, fallen in love with yoga and learning to cook. I’ve had fun sober at boozy events, repaired and deepened my closest relationships and moved to a new city into a beautiful home. I have connected with kind, caring and inspiring people from across the globe. To all of you who have been a part of this journey: thank you from the bottom of my heart.
So, after my year of sober-curiosity, I am ending the year with more sober days under my belt than I’ve had in my adult life, armed with new knowledge, bounds of inspiration and a burning passion to keep moving forward on this journey and reach my ultimate goal of sustained sobriety.
The biggest lessons I’ve learnt this year:
- Not Drinking is an option, always.
- Action -> Inspiration -> Motivation.
- Alcohol steals happiness and rewires the brain. (Scary stuff)
- I alone am responsible for my own happiness; it cannot be found externally.
- I love sobriety.
- Accepting and acknowledging death allows us to live.
- We must choose good values based on what is worth struggling for.
- Quit-lit is a bloody amazing genre.
2020: my year of sober curiosity, I owe you my life. 2021, I cannot wait to see what you have to offer.